Hello and welcome! This is the first blog post, so it must be special right? Whether it turns out to be, or not to be, who cares. With this being the first post, I figure I’ll go over what this page is about, why I’m here, how I got here, what is the exploration of self.
First off, what is SelfPloration? To be unpolitically correct, it is my way of defining the exploration of self. I began this journey when I found myself realizing that I sought happiness through outside validation.
As we all know, nothing in life is permanent. Those flashy expensive new shoes, new annoying rich man, and super adorable $50 makeup palette from Urban Decay only kept me happy for a short period of time. Are those things nice to have? Of course. Is it necessary for your happiness? Of Course…not. Let me explain.
I was a married woman for about 10 years of my life. Being that I married young, it was a difficult process to self adjust when my seemingly perfect marriage ended in divorce. It wasn’t a sloppy divorce, but it definitely changed my life for the worse, then the better. Take notes.
Here I am in life. A newly single 20 something divorcee. So, here I am thinking about what I want to eat for dinner, and it hits me that I have no idea what I like to eat! A majority of my life was spent taking care of others and putting my wants, needs and likes on the wayside for others’ sake. However, it only got worse from there.
Of course I got lonely. Started dating a bunch of seemingly nice people in the beginning that later exposed their not so gentlemanly ways. I know this sounds familiar to some of you readers, don’t lie. -_-.
Long story short, I stopped giving a damn, and started being selfish. That’s when my eyes opened.
An old coworker of mine ended up moving to California, and hit up my messages asking to meet up in Vegas for a mini girls meet up. I happily obliged. Booked my ticket and hotel and counted down on my departure. When I arrived in Vegas, I informed this coworker of my arrival only to receive no response. She flaked.
Now I was in Vegas, by myself, and had no idea what I was going to do. This was my first “solo trip”. I headed to my hotel, changed into a nice dress, and beat my face to the gods. Then I head out for dinner. Alone.
On my way to dinner, I was able to notice things around me in a more intuitive way. The Feng Sui, the people, the atmosphere. All the things that would normally go unnoticed had I been with others.
I enjoyed the heck out of my meal. I woke up the next day. Met a girl and her cousin at the pool, got consciously wasted. Made a Facebook post about my day, found out my brother’s friends were across the street from me, met up with them at a bar. Got consciously wasted. I mean, my day was going great! The bartender kept giving me drinks that I didn’t ask for. I later found out those drinks were from a secret admirer. He revealed himself. I wasn’t interested, but I was thankful.
By the end of my trip, I realized a few things about myself.
- I realized that people really do annoy me. Don’t get me wrong, I like to be around people, but only when I like to be around people. Otherwise, I’m easily annoyed by one’s unwanted presence, even if I do love them to bits.
- I realized that the world really is small.
- The little things DO matter.
- The world is actually not that scary by yourself.
- That not everyone will live up to your expectations, and that’s OK.
This trip, and said coworker not showing up was what I needed to help me explore myself a little bit further, and I haven’t looked back since.
In conclusion, the journey of self exploration has helped me to become more in tune with myself, and more in tune with those around me.
In addition, its also made me aware of my faults, and my strengths, and has guided me to channel my focus. It’s lead me to manifest my wants and desires into existence.
This blog is here for those who want more for themselves. For those who don’t believe in themselves and want to find out why. I’m here for you. I find much peace and solidarity on my journeys, and I look forward to sharing my experiences with you, and hopefully you share your experiences with me.
Thank you so much for reading! I know I talk a lot. 🙂
“You must be the change you wish to see in this world”
-Mahatma Gandhi